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Student Essay Example: Person of Influence

by Story2 Guest Author, on Oct 21, 2016 2:55:07 PM

This blog is part of a series featuring supplemental college admission essays written and approved for publication by Story2 students. This essay by Ricardo, a graduate from NYU, was chosen because of its authentic dialogue, and use of the Story2 Moments Method, which emphasizes focusing on a specific moment, and the action taken by students to reflect a value and characteristic that’s unique and authentic.


By Ricardo, NYU ‘16

Prompt: Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.

Covering his ears while walking past the Central Park carousel, Daniel began to hum a tune that greatly overwhelmed the carousel’s music. People walking down the street gave Daniel a second glance as he was running past the carousel. Daniel is my little brother. He is 10 years old and is diagnosed with Asperger’s. He typically watches the TV in our living room, but on any other TV, he covers his ears and hums a tune as if he is listening to a screeching melody that nobody else can hear. Daniel often sticks to me like a magnet, trying to figure out what I am doing. One minute I am alone in my room, doing my art homework, and the next minute I can feel Daniel’s breath on my back, and see his eyes absorbing the environment of my room. I put on Cartoon Network and whispered to myself, “I wish he would leave me alone.”

Daniel ran crying to our mom. My mom replied, “Ricardo, you’re taking Daniel with you to hang out with you and your friends.” I groaned, “He’s annoying; he doesn’t know how to act, and he always makes a scene in front of people, especially strangers.” She sat down on the couch opposite me and let out a deep breath, “Daniel doesn’t have anybody. Although he excels in school, because he is what he is, he doesn’t make any friends. You and I are the only friends he has. Also, believe it or not, Ricardo, Daniel looks up to you; he admires you. He’s always trying to mimic what you do. Just yesterday, I saw him with one of your razors trying to shave because he saw you do it. Please take him with you to the park with your friends. That’s how he’s going to learn how to behave in front of others; you just need to give him the opportunity.”

I couldn’t speak, my throat wouldn’t make a sound, so I sat there, frozen on the couch. My mom stood up and walked out to attend a meeting. Soon after, my friend texted me to meet him at Riverside in 10 minutes. I already had my sneakers on. I walked to my mom’s room where I saw Daniel drawing a picture of Tom and Jerry with my pencil. He looked at me, “What do you think, Ricky?”

Suddenly, I had a flashback to when I was 9 years old and my older brother Lenny was using the computer. The lights were off, but the light from the computer was enough to see the drawings Lenny had in his art portfolio, Spiderman and Raphael from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Looking up at the computer, I saw Lenny’s dark silhouette. “Lenny, what are you watching?” He then picked me up by his arms, put me on his lap, and told me, “I’m watching Naruto, Ricky. It’s about a little Ninja boy who wants to be the leader of his village.” Shaking my head, I looked back at my little brother Daniel, “Your picture beat my picture of Naruto, Dani. Come on, put on your sneakers. I want to introduce you to my friends.” As Daniel put on his sneakers, I flipped through Daniel’s sketchbook to look at his drawings. His first picture was a picture of our mom, me, and him holding hands. The caption read, “my bestest brother and mami.”

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Topics:High School and CollegeCommunity

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